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'Yes we cran': 9 dad jokes from Obama's final turkey pardoning

2025-04-28 06:24:42admin

Thanksgiving has gone to the birds.

SEE ALSO: How you'd love to troll your Trump-supporting family this Thanksgiving and what to say instead

For the eighth and final time, President Barack Obama has pardoned a pair of turkeys -- Tater and Tot -- before Thanksgiving, but, for the first time, he did so without his daughters Malia and Sasha.

Obama has made a habit out of doing his best to embarrass them with terrible puns at previous turkey pardons and even the president himself on Wednesday admitted, "they just couldn't take my jokes anymore, they were fed up."

So, instead, the president was flanked by his two small nephews, Austin and Aaron Robinson, who, he said, "have not been turned cynical by Washington."

Even without his daughters, though, Obama unloaded a basket of puns and we at Mashable are here to rank them, from worst to first.

9. "Everyone knows that Thanksgiving traffic can put people in a fowl mood."

A joke about traffic plus the fowl/foul pun does not a good joke make, President Obama. Too easy. You can do better.

8. "I want to take a moment to recognize the brave turkeys who weren't so lucky, who didn't get to ride the gravy train to freedom and who met their fate with courage and sacrifice and proved that they weren't chicken."

This one was so bad, a child cried.

You can't defend this to a crying child, Mr. President.

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7. "They will go to their new home at Virginia Tech, which is, admittedly, a bit hokey."

You probably only got this joke if you went to Virginia Tech or if you're a big college sports fan. It's not bad, really, just too narrow of an audience.

6. "That's worth gobbling about."

Eh, a little forced and we're pretty turkey-heavy with the jokes this year. Nothing about ham or mashed potatoes?

5. "A corny-copia of dad jokes about turkey."

This one is middle of the road but gets points for being self-aware. Or maybe the fact that it's self-aware actually makes it worse?

4. "We're not leaving any room for leftovers"

This was in reference to this being his final turkey pardoning and it's hard to think of Donald Trump being so gregarious in this role.

"Tater, you are a failing turkey. The worst. We will not pardon you. SAD!"

Obama's bad dad jokes will be missed.

3. "We should also make sure everyone has something to eat on Thanksgiving, except for the turkeys because they're already stuffed."

On its surface, this doesn't seem that great. But once you let it sink in, you realize how dark meat it is (get it? no?) and you have to hand it to the president for sneaking it in.

2. "No way I'm cutting this habit cold turkey."

This one came as Obama promised to continue the tradition of using terrible puns even when the family returned to be private citizens, so it's fun to imagine the Obama girls, fully grown, still suffering from their dad's eye-rollers.

It's also sneaky good because it harkens back to the president's well-known smoking habit he was forced to give up upon entering the White House.

1. "Yes we cran."

As the president himself said, yes, that was good. It wasn't just a bad pun about Thanksgiving food, it was a terrific call-back to Obama's 2008 optimism-fueled presidential campaign. And it was a terrific way to cap off eight years of terrible puns to go along with the silliest of presidential duties.

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